There is huge potential for this to turn into an issue if you let it. But there is no need to set off a social grenade if you just approach the hen do sensibly.
That’s not to say you have to have a sensible hen do, just plan it accordingly. This way you get to enjoy the best hen do you can possibly have, without offending anyone and creating any awkward faux pas.
So, who do you need to invite to a hen-do?
The thing is, there are no right and wrong answers to this question. The only correct answer is, as the bride, you get to choose whomever you want to come.
1. But before you go ahead and invite all and sundry, we would offer a word of caution: have a think about what kind of hen do you want first.
● If you’re after something low key that everyone from your Mum to your best friend to your office colleagues can enjoy, then send out those invitations willy nilly, and crack on with the preparations.
● If you’re after something slightly more raucous, less Granny-friendly, such as a night on the town after an all day drinking session, then box clever with your invitations. Can you really picture your mum in a strip bar at 2am, slotting notes into the greased up gentleman’s thong, whilst he gyrates in front of you?
You don’t have to be diplomatic about it, this is your party and you can have it all, if you want, just be a little bit sensible and consider everyone who is coming.
2. The next piece of advice is thus: if you’re keen to invite every girlfriend you’ve ever had to your hen do, but you’re only having a small, intimate wedding to which they won’t all be invited, be honest with them.
If they still want to come, simply limit the wedding talk so they don’t feel left out.
3. Conversely, don’t feel you have to invite the world and his wife, this is your day after all.
If you want to spend it having a leisurely breakfast with your close gal pals, your sister, your mum and your aunty, followed by an afternoon at the circus, some cocktails in the evening and one too many rounds of Cards Against Humanity to top it off, then you go ahead and do just that.
You don’t need to send a message to every girl friend explaining why they’ve not been invited. If they ask, a simple ‘close family and friends’ statement will suffice. If they are still affronted, arrange a night out just with them.
Finally, if you’re really struggling with who you need to invite on your hen do, a simple way to narrow it down is thus: make a list of all the females you know. Now go through it and ask this one question - “would I ever pick up the phone and give them a call for a chinwag?”
If the answer is yes, invite them, if the answer is no, don’t.